It has long been said that laughter is contagious. All it takes is for one person to laugh or crack a smile and it allegedly spreads like wildfire. Or herpes. But is it actually contagious or have we just read the same fortune cookie one too many times?

Seriously. Why should we trust that fortune cookie? It came with Lo Mien and low sodium soy sauce. What kind of wild asshole even consumes low sodium soy sauce. That’s like eating one potato chip- get out of here.

You are probably sitting there right now saying to yourself, “It’s just a saying, who cares?” Well, we all care. This clearly makes you the odd one out. Also, why are you trying to ruin our fun?

Alright, alright, alright so just for kicks let’s say that laughter is contagious. You are laughing uncontrollably when all of a sudden a person nearby starts laughing with you. Now you both look unstable laughing alone on a subway platform, so maybe just keep that in mind.

Do you think they are laughing because the content that made you laugh is funny or are they laughing in some mindless zombie-like way?

You know what, we could really be on to something here.

What if comedians aren’t even really all that funny and the audience only laughs because one person started it. Holy crap. The comedy industry only exists as part of a scheme. Look at all of those liars on stage. Their livelihoods are supplemented by zombie magic.

This may also suggest that comedy is like an episode of The Twilight Zone. Is Trump even the President or do we just think he is because Saturday Night Live created a few sketches based on him?

No. That’s absurd.

Just like your low sodium soy sauce.